||[Sep. 29th, 2006|11:56 pm]
our show saturday in ft lauderdale was pretty cool. the venue was a record store and we played upstairs on some wooden balcony. dancing was prohibited because that shit was so scary up there! anyway, the best part of the show was after. well unfortunately we didnt have a place to stay in ft lauderdale so we slept on the beach (west palm beach). well i think i slept for a total of 10 minutes. but at night we went on the beach, the weather was so amazing. the wind's strength was perfect. and cheddar, fatty, leo, julie, mars and i went in the water in our underwear and bras (except cheddar who was naked) and it was the best feeling ever. the waves were soo big and we stood there for quite a while. cheddar had fun harrassing leo and leo yelped so loud at the grossness of cheddars dick against his ass. mars, who lives in miami, was cheddars friend who came to the show. this girl was so cool. she was a riot! in the water it was so hilarious because she was so paranoid about sharks and stingrays. she's like omg what if a shark comes. shes like lets not swim too far, there might be sharks. and like fatty and i got some black shit on our skin, which we think was tar and it turned into some inside joke about some stingray shitting on us. after what seemed like a long time in the water, all of us except chedar and mars went to get some grub. and that's last we really talked to them two for the night as they slept on the beach. after food, julie and fatty slept in the car. leo and i attempted to but it was just too hot and the mosquitoes were deadly. and cmon, sleeping in a car is so uncomfortable. so instead we ditched the car and walked around the little strip. everything appeared dead. it was so weird. we looked so insane too and i've never felt so dirty in my life! Leo's attire consisted of his wet dirty socks, dickies pants with no boxers on and some shirt. My attire: fatty's extra boxers and the shirt i wore at the show and i didnt have a bra or undies on since i wore them to swim. oh yea and i had no shoes on. we walked around for a while and then decided to sit on some benches which faced the beach. it had to be around 5:30am at this time. It was so refreshing and watching the sunrise on the beach while chilling with one of your best friends made it worth not sleeping.
Talking with Leo is one of my favorite things to do. And everytime I talk to him, my love for him grows stronger. One significant thing about our talk tonight was obviously about our futures. if you read the band bio, you already know Leo is torn between culinary and music but something he said this night made me really hopeful. He mentioned that he felt that even if he went to culinary school and he had to quit the band or anything got in the way, that for some reason he saw himself being with us forever. Almost like he was destined to be with us in the end. That whatever route he took, he'd end up with us. That made me smile because I feel the same way. Which actually brings me to the most ironic thing that has ever happened in my life.
As you all have read or heard me talk about, you know I've been defending my choice about nothing going to college. As I always say, I know everything is going to happen unexpectedly but this is way too weird. The last couple days have been crazy. Big fights with my mom, my dad telling my sister that he doesnt know what to do about me and how he feels i dont love them...but now to the big news. After all those fights, my sister told me my dad wanted to know how i felt. so i sent him the longest email i've ever written and two days later we talked and we came up with a compromise. He supports the band and wants me to go for my passion and dream and doesnt want me to work a lame job for nothing. so im actually going to go to college starting in January. I'm considering ITT Tech or FUll sail. Im going to do music production. I want everything hands on. And it just seems so fitting with the band because I seriously felt that we were close to falling apart but me going to college may save us. How? well my dad said hed help us out and just starting out, we do need all the help we can get. and also, we may consider creating our own record label and etc. it's so ironic that i felt college would be the thing that would keep me from keeping the band going but i seriously think this will be for the best. and just how i told leo he could do culinary and the band, i could both. i guess i should realize it;s not so much different. it's weird because i remember wen mrs d told me i should move to ny, i was hesitant because i wanted to stay where the band was and we eventually said we'd go. and when she told me to go to a jr college or to compromise with my parents, i felt she would be right. i just had that feeling like i know shes going to be right, but she cant be. i feel like this is what im supposed to do, not go to college.
problem. i thought this would diminish problems with my mom. it didnt. im so frustrated. i dont know what else to do to please my mom. my best bet is to move out. probably dorm or if i go to full sail in orlando i may live with my uncle. but ive done so many things my parents wanted me to do and ive got nothing but shit. i havent done a lot of bad things. ive earned excellent grades, dont drink or smoke and have all around been pretty good and where does it land me with the relationship with my mom? nowhere good.
pegasus show 9-30 at 9 pm. we are opening.